Muller hearing was the Al Capone vault news of politics
Democrats were hoping for Eliot Ness. Instead, Robert Mueller was their Grandpa Simpson — feeble, forgetful, confused. Far from hurling thunderbolts at the White House, he seemed like a guy who would need to pause for a few seconds if called upon to distinguish his ass from his elbow. As James Freeman, resident wit of The Wall Street Journal, asked, “Did Robert Mueller read the Mueller Report?”And Jerry Nadler pretends that the vault was loaded with impeachment treasure! It is like pretenidng that a clown show is serious.
Hopes could hardly have been higher for Mueller, the mighty matinee idol of justice who was going to rid the nation of Donald Trump. That this would result in the elevation of Mike Pence, who if anything is even more hated by liberals than the boss (at least Trump isn’t religious), seems not to have occurred to anyone. If Trump somehow was able to cancel the coronation of Queen Pantsuit, it must have been a crime and it had to be punished. This was the Dem Dream that would not die.
How short of expectations did Mueller fall? His appearance was the Al Capone’s Vault of political news. Just a few months ago this is how liberals saw him: “Bob Mueller may as well have been Elijah, the prophet for whom Jews reserve an empty chair and cup, whose coming symbolizes the answers to all the world’s remaining questions,” read a dispatch from the Washington dinner-party scene in the Washingtonian. Vogue called him “America’s newest crush.” Portland Monthly said “the hottest gift this holiday season” was a Robert Mueller devotional candle. Old people lamented, with their dying breaths, that the thing they really minded was not getting to hear from Mueller.