The bigotry of high expectations?


The global sexual wellbeing survey

The French, who have always treated seduction as art, were startled yesterday to learn that they have the world’s second most dreary sex lives – after the Japanese.

In a 26-country survey which shows that even the British are happier in bed, only 25 per cent of French men and women report that they are sexually satisfied. Forty percent of Britons profess satisfaction, still well behind the champions, Nigerians (67 per cent) and Mexicans (63 per cent).

To make things worse, the French are among the most energetic performers, making love 120 times a year, compared with 92 for the British and 164 for the Greeks, who top the 26-nation league.

Sexologists and other experts yesterday tried to explain the situation, which emerged from a survey of 26,000 people by the British firm Harris Interactive. “The French have rested on their laurels,” said Sylvain Mimoun, the Director of Andrology at the Cochin Hospital, Paris. “They know that the French are famous as lovers and forget to maintain what they have by thinking of the other person and achieving harmony rather than just performance.

“It’s like a mountaineer who has reached the summit of Everest and then takes a rest in a chaise longue. If he stays there too long he loses the ability to climb.”

The French do make less effort, the survey found, concluding their sexual acts in 14 minutes, compared with 16 for the British and 24 for Nigerians, who linger longest.


Sack race

67%: Nigerians are the world’s most satisfied lovers

63%: Mexicans are not far behind

61%: Lovers in India clearly know something their rivals do not

54%: The Poles are the happiest Europeans in the bedroom

38%: Sexual satisfaction in Germany is below average

25%: Alors! French lovers are asking what went wrong

15%: Japanese lovers are the world’s least satisfied . . . but their cars are very reliable

Who answers these questions. In over 40 years of experience, I do not think I have ever timed my love making and can't think of any reason to do so. And, those Indians, they may be short on equipment according to the BBC, but they certainly enjoy what they have.


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