Doing it in the woods is awesome?

Villainous Company:


Disgusted, I flipped on the TV set - maybe that would lift my flagging spirits. Flipping through the channels, I soon found what I was looking for: Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and their friends were visiting lush, unspoiled third world habitats in a joyous celebration of indigenous cultures and ways of life industrialized nations like the US have so unwisely left behind. Watching the Beautiful People get back to the Earth and talk with some real Old Souls, I was even more ashamed of my modern ways. The insights they revealed were just shattering - I was literally green with envy:

Actress Drew Barrymore, who reportedly earns $15 million a film, told MTV viewers in one episode that after spending time in a primitive, electricity-free Chilean village, "I aspire to be like them more."

Barrymore, apparently enthralled by the lack of a modern sanitary facilities, gleefully bragged, "I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome."

I wanted to poo in the woods with my sylvan friends, the squirrels and the baby deer! It was so natural - so right! Why couldn't I do that! There was probably some stupid ordinance against it - we have restrictive covenants against everything around this place. I resolved to do it in the dark the first chance I got. Maybe in my neighbor's Ojibwa crystal garden... in a full moon, the energies there would be awesome.

The 32-year-old Diaz, who earns a reported $20-million a movie, boasted that the cow-dung slathered walls of a Nepalese village hut were "beautiful" and "inspiring," and she called the primitive practice of "pounding mud" with sticks to construct a building foundation "the coolest thing."

Diaz also criticized the lifestyles of many Americans after visiting an indigenous village in Chile. "It's kinda gotten out of hand how much convenience we think we need," she said.

Speculatively, I eyed the walls of my living room... but I'd just re-painted. No matter. Would dung darken the room too much? Maybe a skylight to let in more afternoon sun? I'd hate to miss the latest trend to hit Hollywood...

The stars were clearly in Heaven:

"My favorite thing about Bhutan is they measure their country's wealth, not based on dollar amount but on gross national happiness," Diaz said.

Now how cool is that? We have GDP - and what does that really mean anyway? Does anyone even understand it? They have gross national happiness: GNH. I wonder how they measure it? Why can't we be more progressive?

I thought that was what the GDP measured, but I guess that is only when Dems are in office. When Republicans control things it is a measure of unhappiness.


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