Life or something like it as a staff officer

The Officer's Club:

'Leaning forward' is really just the first phase of 'falling on your face.'" Marine Col (MARFOREUR)


"We're from the nuke shop, sir. We're the crazy aunt in the closet that nobody likes to talk about ..." Lt Col (EUCOM) in briefings


"His knowledge on that topic is only power point deep..." MAJ (JS)


"Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule." CWO4 (EUCOM)


"We are condemned men who are chained and will row in place until we rot." LtCol (CENTCOM) on life at his Command


"If we wait until the last minute to do it, it'll only take a minute." MAJ(EUCOM)


"The only reason that anything ever gets done is because there are pockets of competence in every command. The key is to find them ... and then exploit the hell out of 'em." CDR (CENTCOM)


"Cynicism is the smoke that rises from the ashes of burned out dreams." Maj (CENTCOM) on the daily thrashings delivered to AOs at his Command.

"WE are the reason that Rumsfeld hates us..." LTC (EUCOM) doing some standard, Army self-flagellation


"Between us girls, would it help to clarify the issue if you knew that Hungary is land-locked?" CDR to MAJ (EUCOM) on why a deployment from Hungary is likely to proceed by air vice sea


"Never pet a burning dog." LTC (Tennessee National Guard)


"I seem to be rapidly approaching the apex of my mediocre career." MAJ (JS)


Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress."

"It's not a lot of work unless you have to do it." LTC (EUCOM)

"Creating smoking holes (with bombs) gives our lives meaning and enhances our manliness." LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference

...

"Other than the fact that there's no beer, an early curfew and women that wear face coverings for a reason, Kabul is really a wonderful place to visit." LTC (CENTCOM)

"It was seen, visually."
LTC (EUCOM) during a Reconnaissance briefing

"Let me tell you about the benefits of being on a
staff..."
"This should be a short conversation."
LtCol to Lt Col (EUCOM)

...

The ommitted are funny too.

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