Making the ludicrous sound profound

Jonah Goldberg:

"The Republicans in Washington believe that America should be run by the right people — their people," Bill Clinton declared to thunderous applause here Monday night. Rarely has a more banal statement been offered with such an air of truth-telling bravado.

Here's more news for you: Catholics believe that the Pope should be ... Catholic! And, just in case the point is lost on you, Democrats in Washington believe that America should be run by — wait for it — Democrats!

Of course, Clinton is a master of making the ludicrous sound profound — when talking about himself — and damning when talking about others. This was, after all, the president who made school uniforms sound like an issue of world-historical significance. But given the Children of the Corn-like mesmerization of the Democratic delegates who flocked to Clinton like lemmings to a cliff (and the groaning Clinton nostalgia of the media), it's not shocking that he managed to steal so many intellectual bases Monday night.

Consider his silly suggestion that his ban of a few boutique brands of "deadly" assault weapons contributed to the drop in the crime rate. Or his pugnacious claim that only Republicans seek to "divide" people while Democrats — who routinely call anyone to their right "fascists," "Nazis" and fanatics — are merely interested in bringing people together.

But this is not a party weighed down by the ballast of facts. Indeed, you have to carry a light pack when racing against the clock. For more than a year, Democrats have been fueled by a violent, irrational hatred of George W. Bush. These feelings were almost never based upon facts, so much as on an almost glandular paranoia.


he problem for them is that not even the now decidedly anti-Bush press can conceal the fact that virtually none of these allegations were true. The Senate Intelligence Committee report, the British Butler Report and the 9/11 Commission report undermine every key allegation of the anti-Bush flat-earthers. The 9/11 Commission, which was being hailed as an oracular council of truth and light when it made Bush look bad, has essentially said the Patriot Act does not go far enough (and Ashcroft, by the way, never even poked his nose in a library); that Bush never lied and that several of Bush's more famous accusers did — including those who, knowing otherwise, insisted that Bush's "16 words" about Saddam Hussein's pursuit of uranium were lies.


In many ways, Moore is worse than McCarthy since at least tail-gunner Joe was right on the big question that Communists are bad. What Moore gets right beyond the spelling of his name is beyond me.


The Boston Democrats are running on the fumes of a Bush-record-that-never-was. They gripe about how he's cut education spending, when he's increased it by more than 35%. They claim he lied about WMDs when he didn't. They say he's violated civil liberties when he's been fighting for the survival of liberty. They're betting everything that they can cross the finish line before the American public realizes that the Democrats are coasting on an empty tank.


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