Masters of misery

Jonah Goldberg:

THE US economy - yes, that economy - grew at a 3.3 percent annual rate last quarter. This no doubt caused consternation at the highest levels of the Democratic Party, perhaps forcing some to consider a new convention film at the last minute: "Dude, Where's My Recession?"

To hear the Democrats at their convention this week, you'd get the sense that a recession is merely a technical term for the worst human misery ever visited upon a once-great people. You'd think Americans were listening to the Democratic speeches as they huddled around their kitchen tables (if they hadn't already been used for firewood), deciding which of their children to pack off to the orphanage and how much tree bark they can afford to eat next week.

Last night, Baracl Obama proclaimed: "Our economy is in turmoil, and the American promise has been threatened once more." He went on to describe an America reminiscent of the Grapes of Wrath (if not Mad Max).

But this was a weeklong theme. Over and over again, Democrats insisted that the "American dream" is being snuffed out, crushed, beaten, stabbed and quite possibly dismembered in President Bush's West Wing bathtub, where Bush and Dick "The Cleaner" Cheney can dissolve the remains in sulfuric acid.

On Wednesday, Joe Biden reminded the world that he rides Amtrak home to Delaware from Washington. (Apparently not since Gunga Din has there been a more heroic commute.) He told us that when he gazes out the window of his barreling locomotive, he can "almost hear" the conversations in the houses he sees whizzing by.

He "almost hears" things with an awful lot of specificity: "Should Mom move in with us now that Dad's gone? Fifty, 60, 70 dollars just to fill up the gas tank? How in God's name, with winter coming, how are we gonna heat the home? Another year, no raise? Did you hear - did you hear they may be cutting our health care at the company?" Super Joe even hears people asking him, "How are we gonna retire, Joe?"

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But while Americans don't like the direction in which the country is heading, and hate high gas prices, they're pretty satisfied with their lives.

Some 94 percent of Americans polled by Harris Interactive this month said they were satisfied with the lives they lead. Gallup reports that only 9 percent of Americans are dissatisfied with their jobs and only 13 percent are dissatisfied with their job security. The unemployment rate is at a five-year high of 5.7 percent, but it wasn't long ago when that was considered close to full employment.

"Ladies and gentlemen," mourned Sen. Biden, the "American dream feels like it's slowly slipping away . . . I've never seen a time when Washington has watched so many people get knocked down without doing anything to help them get back up."

Quick question: Was this the same Washington that oversaw the largest expansion of entitlements (a k a the prescription-drug benefit) since the Great Society? Was this the Washington that recently started doling out $168 billion in stimulus checks?

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Only when Democrats are handing out the goodies are people not miserable I guess. That wrong track index has always bothered me. When 80 percent of the country says we are on the wrong track the media and especially the Democrats all assume that 80 percent of the country think the Democrats have the answer to get us on the right track.

That just is not only not true it is impossible. The same polls show the election in a virtual dead heat, which suggest to me that at least half of the people who think we are on the wrong track think so because of what the Democrats are trying to do.

Certainly on energy 75 percent of the country think the Democrats are wrong in not drilling and using other resources to provide energy. Over 60 percent of voters think the Democrats are wrong on taxes and national security issues. The only way the Democrats can survive such sentiment is to foll voters into thinking they are on their side.