More Chinglish

Abigail Lavin:

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... This term means different things to different people, but for the purposes of Oliver Lutz Radtke's new book, it refers to the delightfully awkward, syntax-defying, and at times purple prose found on English-language signs, clothing, and packaging in China. Radtke, a German sinologist, first came up with the idea for a book on Chinglish while studying at Shanghai Foreign Languages University.

Like Radtke, I, too, find myself tickled by the abundant examples of not-quite-English to be found in China. As I write, I am sitting in an upscale wine bar in downtown Shanghai. Janis Joplin is playing softly in the background, and in the din of other patrons' conversation I can make out French, Chinese, and, of course, English. A sign hangs in the doorway: "Take care of your belongings before you leave the restaurants."

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Similarly, I have in my purse a packet of moist towelettes called "HARASS" wipes. It is possible that the manufacturers wish to associate their brand with harassment as a marketing strategy, but it is more likely that a mid-level executive in Wuhan saw the word "harass" in the blurb of a pirated DVD copy of the 2002 Jennifer Lopez thriller Enough and thought that it looked to be as good a word as any to slap on a pack of towelettes.

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This illuminating intrudaction is followed by a list of "Rulers for visitors." Some highlights:

.  .  . public meeting or fund-raising Of any nature is inexpedient, activities of a feudalistic and superstitious nature .  .  . are not allowed

Visitors are not supposed to tease, scare, or capture bird, cricket, fish and shrimp or cicada (exceptthose for community purposes).

Ethic and moral codes should be duly honored, visitors are expected not to urinate or shit .  .  .

Like all great specimens of literature, these "Rulers for visitors" excite the reader's imagination, opening the mind to new possibilities and questions. Would it be possible to concurrently break all three of the rules listed above? Surely there is something feudalistic to be done with crickets, but urinating or defecating might be difficult to work into the mix.

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Now we know where the HARASS towlets are to be used.