Reportin arafats demise

Lilleks:

Our paper had this headline: “Enduring Symbol of Palestine Dies.” Personally, I’m old school. I’d go with something, oh, factual, like “ARAFAT DEAD.” Hard to argue. Hard to find bias. I don’t know what would be satisfying, really. “Goaty Old Fiend Expires, Loses Power, Fortune, Bowel Control; Fills Room with Odor of Offal and Urine” would put people off their breakfast, I suppose. I am content to know he is not in Hell. Nope. Arafat did not go to Hell. He boards the ferry, yes; he makes it halfway across the River Styx, yes. Then the ferry blows up. Ten times a day for eternity. For a start.

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