The assumptions of the birthers

David Hirsayni:

The science fiction writer Damon Knight once claimed that the popularity of conspiracy theories could be explained by our "desire to believe that there is some group of folks who know what they're doing."

Wishful thinking. And few groups of folks have displayed less aptitude in the art of keeping secrets than government.

Yet, no matter who is in power, no matter how incompetent they may be, there always exists this irate minority that believes politicians possess supernatural powers of deception.

The mystery the nation faces isn't President Barack Obama's birth certificate. The mystery is how any American can believe that all the president's former political opponents, both the Republican and Democratic parties, Hawaiian officials and two Honolulu newspapers (nay, the entire press corps) could work in concert to conceal the biggest con of the eon.

Well, OK, not the biggest con.

There was George Bush, who, though often accused of possessing the brainpower of a ripe banana, was, nevertheless, also able to work on the North American Union agreement and mastermind an oily conspiracy for the ages.

According to a 2006 Scripps Howard/Ohio University poll, more than a third of the public suspects that Bush officials assisted in the 9/11 terrorist attacks or took no action to stop them so the United States could go to war in the Middle East.

Like we need an excuse.

President Bill Clinton's long-verifiable history of slimy behavior also was never enough to quench the anger of some. So we concocted the Don of Little Rock, who, though he wasn't shrewd enough to cover up a run-of-the-mill affair with an young intern, had the ability to surreptitiously run a cocaine trafficking outfit and knock off Vince Foster and Ron Brown.

Those who peddle the Obama birth certificate conspiracy are squandering their chance at making any substantive case against an administration that is waging a completely non-secretive battle against capitalism.

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Hirsayni gets to the essence of what is wrong with the Birther conspiracies. They are wasting energy and credibility on an issue they will never prevail on and are giving the left an excuse to ignore substantive arguments against this administration.

Whether or not Obama produces some long form birth certificate, I doubt they will ever be satisfied. The whole idea of a teenage mother in Hawaii going off to a third world country to give birth is just to ridicules to begin with. But if they are so hung up on the documentation of the birth, how about they document the passport to Kenya? Did his mother even have a passport at that time?

The fundamental problem with the Birther movement is that its a Kings X argument. It is an attempt to remove from office someone who was elected because of some perceived glitch in the documentation of his birth. Even if they were successful, the reaction to their success would insure Democrat victories intot he future. That is why it is more important to defeat your political enemies on substance.

The venom that is being poured out against the unbelievers by the Birther movement is not going to persuade anyone and it makes them look all the more desperate. If it makes them feel better that those who disagree with them are part of some vast conspiracy or just fools, that is about all they are getting from the exercise.