The seriously SCARED anthropologist

This comes from a spoof of the a wimp anthropologist attempt to discourage helping US forces defeat the enemy. This post discusses how anthropologist are helping the war effort in Afghanistan. It might help you put the following into perspective.

We are SCARED!

Seriously Concerned Anthropologists for a Ridiculously Enfeebled Defense

SCARED is the parody of the Network of Concerned Anthropologists - a namby pamby herd of anthropologists who have decided that tucking one's tail between his legs and running in fear is the best defense against terrorism. NCA members have been known to piss all over themselves with excitement when observing peace rallies. Like lemmings, they blindly follow some innate desire to commit mass suicide.

SCARED is a group of anthropologists that says emphatically, "Please don't blow us up!" To terrorists and insurgents fighting the forces of freedom, we say this:

We are not your enemy and we refuse to help the US in its illegal war on terror! We know you are reasonable and that if we lie on our backs and do nothing, you will see us for the helpless little people that we are and not hurt us.

Pledge of Non-participation in Counter-insurgency

We, the undersigned, believe that anthropologists should not engage in research and other activities that contribute to counter-insurgency (COIN) operations in Iraq or in related theaters in the “war on terror.” While some people say COIN reduces the need for massive bombing that results in untold civilian casualties, we say we will not get our hands dirty even if it saves lives. US military and intelligence agencies and military contractors have identified “cultural knowledge,” “ethnographic intelligence,” and “human terrain mapping” as essential to US-led military intervention in Iraq and other parts of the Middle East.

We prefer that they remain hopelessly ignorant and ineffective, thereby dragging out the war on terror and multiplying the death count. Rather than instilling cultural understanding in US military operations, we prefer that soldiers in the battlefield never learn to distinguish ordinary peaceful Arab and Muslim culture from the death cult of suicide terror and insurgency.

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You can see a side by side comparison with the original anthropologist's who want to lose the war pledge at Small Wars Journal Blog.