Do you want to live forever?

David Hirsanyi:

Times are bleak. Even a cursory peek at the economy tells us the world is about to go to holy hell. And speaking of holy hell, Iran is on the cusp of building an atomic weapon, so be prepared to meet the Twelfth Imam.

As an eternal killjoy, this all seems about right to me. From the dirt floors of our tiny hovels, I imagine, we will one day congregate around fire pits and entertain emaciated grandchildren with tales of economic booms, budget surpluses, iPhones and low-interest credit cards. All in all, this generation had a fine run.

But there is a thin reed of optimism. Those delightful grandchildren of yours apparently are going to live forever -- or that's the goal. The news of only the past few weeks has transformed plenty of science fiction into near reality.

Did you hear the story of the South Carolina teenager who survived for nearly four months without a heart? She was kept alive with a "custom-built artificial blood-pumping device" and was able to survive for her proper heart transplant.

D'Zhana Simmons is only 14 years old, so the procedure was a marvel worth celebrating. But what does this kind of innovation mean for society in the long term? What about the 70-year-old with a clunky ticker? Or 90-year-old? What do we do when my own "custom-built artificial blood-pumping device" is on the fritz in 20, 30, 40 years?

Fortunately, I don't want to live forever (and judging from my inbox, this is a widely held position). I do, however, hope to die in my favorite position: deep in slumber. If they ever let me, that is.

...

To be hate by people you don't even know is a sure sign of some degree of fame.

Fortunately, for the rest of us there are others who have chosen to risk death on our behalf. Before one battle a commander is reported to have said "come on you SOBs do you want to live forever."

That thought reminded me of what one of my flight instructors said upon learning that he was going to have to bail out of his plane. "I have always wanted to try it, just not today." I have to admit that parachute training was one of the more fun aspects of flight school even though I never had to use one in an emergency.

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