Instant fatherhood

Dawn DiGiorgio:

It's often the case, when a couple decides to adopt, that the woman is the instigator. This was certainly true in our own international adoption of our beautiful baby girl. Of course we made joint decisions regarding the adoption and the process, but ultimately I was the driver, and I was sure of my mission as a mother.

From the day we decided to go to China, I was confident and convinced that there was a little person we were destined to find and bring home. My baby girl was not even born at this point, but I never doubted that I needed to prepare to pick her up. In my heart I knew she was on her way. I never wavered in my knowledge that this was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I am not religious, but I will say that I had a great deal of faith in my destiny to be a mother.

My husband stood by my side the entire time. He nodded and smiled and said all the right things. He plowed through the rules and regulations and dealt with immigration authorities, the Chinese Embassy and the endless paperwork. He absorbed large amounts of knowledge regarding the process, the country and the state of Chinese affairs. He followed my lead and hoped for the best. He did his reading, and he packed his bags and created our travel itinerary.

He had no real experience with children. He was the youngest in his family and had never been around any kids. Quite frankly, he was frightened and intimidated by children, despite the fact that he is 6 feet 8 inches tall. He cowered in their presence, and his eyes would dart back and forth searching for an escape.

...

What I do know is that something magical happened on that day, Sept. 14, 2005, and I saw it from the moment it began. I handed our new daughter to my husband, and they both gazed at each other, as if sizing up one another. I felt the energy pass between the two of them -- it was electric, indescribable. Her face suddenly lighted up with a brilliant smile and she cooed, "Oh."

He was shocked, looking as surprised as if he had seen some ethereal vision. He sighed and responded simply, "Oh."

It was a matter of seconds, but it will be etched in my memory forever: this moment that he became a father. I had known long before that I was a mother. He didn't know until that moment that he was a father. I could see the transformation take place.

...

An aquaintence of mine and his wife adopted a baby from a Chinese orphange, but the experience was a testing ordeal. Their new daughter had survived the orphange by learning to scream louder than the rest I guess, because she never started with a whimper when she wanted attention. She always went to full volumn immediately. My grandson, on the otherhand, would try to get attention with a smile, that would progress to protestation if his needs were not attended to. However they get your attention, you learn to love them, some more quickly than others.